Happy Mother's Day : Celebrations Series Pt 4
by Theadosia57
Summary: (Be It Feb, Mar Or May) As Carlisle & Bella grow steadily closer to leaving for their forever. Esme gets 4 chances to reflect on her mistakes. Esme's P.O.V Pt 4 of Celebrations. Carlisle/Bella DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its characters belong to S. Meyer. Otherwise, the rest is my musings on an AU.


**Mother's Day**** falls on ****different days**** depending on the countries where it is celebrated. ****Mother's Day 2019 for this story are as follows: Sun 10 Feb (Norway) Sun 31 Mar ****(UK)**** Sun 12 May (****USA & Denmark)**** Sun 26 May ****(Sweden)**

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Esme Platt, once known as both Esme Everson and Esme Cullen tried so very hard to ignore it on February 10th. It was just another day she told herself, or at least she tried too. She didn't believe it but she really tried, because it was still all so very fresh in her mind. Anyway, Esme told herself it was happening in Norway, not there in Denmark. But it just brought home to her all that she'd lost. Her husband, her family, her home, her security and her friends.

It sounded like a major tragedy befell her and in a way it had. There was just one small problem with that, she'd brought it on herself. Granted Esme wasn't alone in that, no, he was the one left alone at first and they didn't care. In fact, if Edward and Alice had gotten their way he's have been alone for eternity and still, they hadn't cared, each had decided their happiness was more important than his.

Esme tried to ignore it again on March 31st, this time it was happening further away from her in Britain. But that made it so much worse; he was born in England, in London, the capital no less. She was miserable all day and had nobody to blame but herself once again. Was every year going to be like this she wondered? Esme knew she had been a terrible wife, a more than bad mother and an even worse person, well vampire!

If she could go back, she'd tell Edward and Alice no, wouldn't she? Esme doubted it, her fear and her greed brought her to this new life. It's a good life don't get me wrong, but it was a very lonely one too. Everything she'd accomplished here was something she could have done there but didn't even try. He would have been her strongest supporter if she'd bothered to broaden her horizons. He would have cheered her on, held her hand and proclaimed to everyone, he knew she could do it.

But Esme had played at being an international interior decorator, had played at being the Emergency Room Doctors wife, now she could admit she even had played at being a mother to five pretend teenagers! What real mother stands by while some are treated better than others, none, but she did! Oh, Esme admonished Emmett for swearing or fighting with Jasper in the house and them breaking her beautiful expensive things. But she didn't stop Edward's lies and schemes. She knew what he was doing and did nothing, why?

Because she told herself he was Carlisle's son and he would be able to deal with it, except he didn't know and none of them told him. Then there was Alice, did Esme stop her wasting Carlisle's money, no she encouraged her, hell she went with her on those shopping sprees! Then there was Rose, poor Rose she above all needed a mother and Esme failed her. She has such potential, just lacking the confidence to try and break out of the mould nature had put her in and Edward played on that. Did Esme help her? No! She was as she said a terrible mother.

**HMD**

"Happy Mother's day, mom. Did you get my present and card? I was worried they wouldn't arrive on time. Oh good, now be honest do you like it? Thank goodness! So what are you doing to celebrate? Oh my, are you sure, okay then have fun. What time is your lesson? Well, enjoy your day out with Phil. Make sure he spoils you, tell him I said he has to! I love you, bye mom" Bella said, while her heart was breaking.

This would be their last Mother's day, next year she'd be dead! Well, she'd be a vampire and Renee would think her dead, was what Bella was thinking. Carlisle was there holding her as she fell apart, he was so kind, so gentle and Bella loved him with all of her being, not just her heart, at that moment.

"There's no rush Bella, you can have all the time you want and need. Another couple of years won't make that much difference sweetheart! We'll be closer in age as well, so don't rush yourself into this, we're fine as we are for now, okay. I won't love you more or less, but just the same!" Carlisle said rocking her gently back and forward,

"It might just be our last one anyway, Phil's taking her sky diving!" Bella said trying to lighten the mood and failing miserably.

He always knows just what to say and he was right, the Volturi knew she would become one of them eventually. They were happy to let Carlisle take his time; it was Bella herself who was wishing her life away. Unlike Edward, Carlisle had every intention of doing it; he just wanted her to be one hundred percent ready when it happened. He wanted her to regret nothing, but also not feel as if she was slowing him down. It was a fine line, but one Carlisle made as easy as possible for Bella.

**HMD**

Today Esme can't ignore it, it's Mother's day here in Denmark and at home in the USA. The day is May 12th and reminders of a past life are all around here. There will be no elaborate flower bouquets for her today, no amounts of ostentatious gifts, no grandiose pieces of music written. They no longer need to pretend she was there for them as a mother and Esme can now accept she never was. She could have done so much differently; she should have done it differently!

There's nothing like losing it all, to see what you really had! She will always wonder what happened to them all; she didn't even wait around to find out. No Esme fled with her tail between her legs, just one more bit of proof how selfish and pathetic she really was. Five months of reflection, day and night will bring you insight. Too late, but Esme sees everything so much more clearly now.

Being turned away and denigrate by people who she had thought of as friends, that had pushed her into seeing just how badly she'd treated Carlisle and it hurt having your failures thrown in your face. They are better off without her and always would have been. Why? Because they are not children and never were. That cataclysmic event, she hoped would be the making of at least Rose and Emmett.

She had no doubt Edward would never change and probably die because of it. Alice, well she would survive of course, but would she be happy? Esme didn't think so. As for Jasper, Esme was sure of one thing. He never backed a loser ever! So he had never been on their side at all in those last few months. He did whatever he did, for information and to help Carlisle and Bella by causing misdirection and enmity between Edward and Alice.

He was too honourable a man to go along with their plans and more the fool them all, for not seeing it at the time. Moreover, she would assume he and only he would have contacted Carlisle after they all left. Jasper would never let Carlisle suffer like that; he'd tell him the truth no matter what it cost him personally.

**HMD**

"Do you miss them, Carlisle?" Bella asked later as the two were cuddled up in bed,

"Yes and No! Yes, because we had some good times, but no, because they were few and far between. Yes, because I truly loved them all and No, because they obviously didn't love me enough! I blame myself for so much!" he said and Bella started to interrupt,

"Let me finish Bella sweetheart! I could have been there more and I wasn't. I could have seen the cracks if I'd bothered to look. It was only when you arrived in our lives that I began to see what was there all along and I hid from it in the beginning, not liking what we had a become. Then it became too hard to ignore and I fought back! Took back! Broke free!" Carlisle told her sadly with a catch in his voice,

They had hurt him badly and Bella could do nothing but wrap herself around him and hold him tight. Warm and protected by her embrace, was the only place he wanted to be now. She was his calm, she was his guiding light, she was the centre of his universe from now on. Carlisle had never asked or anything from them but love and he had received very little and usually when they wanted something from him.

**HMD**

Esme's business had started to show great promise, she was good at this and word was getting around. Why had she never really tried before, if she'd had this outlet, maybe things would have been different? But she knew that wasn't true, everything changed when Bella arrived. Esme and Carlisle had not been mates so it was always a possibility that one of them would meet their other half. Funny how she always thought it would be her and not him.

That was the depth of her selfishness, assuming she deserved to meet her mate first. Why had they all thought themselves better than their sire, their coven leader? He had given them all a new life, a better life and none had even tried to act on it. Edward was the worst, but she, Rose an Emmett had taken and given back nothing. Alice was selfish, scheming and petty, a female Edward really.

Only Jasper spent time with Carlisle one on one, man to man. They shared their experiences, thoughts and hopes for the future, he was the son Carlisle deserved. But as fate would have it he was never that, more a friend, no a brother! Esme wished she had a friend to share her new life with, but she'd seen no vampires since she arrived here and maybe that was for the best. She needed to learn to cope on her own first, and then she would have a place to start from, to build a relationship from, unlike before.

But today instead of wallowing in what could have been she made a decision, she would give back instead of taking. So she set off to help those who wanted to be what she never was, a good mother. She bought bags and filled them with toiletries and essentials and headed to the homeless shelters. Looking for children who would have wished to give their mothers a present if they could and there were plenty. It was easy to spot them, as an air of sadness hung over those too poor to give back to their mothers, for the love they had received.

For once Esme felt good about herself, helping others was a balm to the soul. No wonder Carlisle wanted to continue being a doctor; it was his way of helping mankind as he lived his long eternal life. She hated these shelters, yes, they did there bit. But some of these women needed. No deserved, more than just food and a temporary bed. They need jobs, the needed to regain their self worth and they needed skills. Just like Rose, Esme realised she could give instead of taking and plans started to form in her head.

She swore to herself by this time next year she would open the doors of a shelter for women with children. One that gave them the ability to learn skills so they could work and thus support themselves. She had a client list of rich people, ones who would be like she used to be. Those who needed to be seen doing the right thing and Esme would give them that, while she made sure their money benefitted those who really needed it.

Now she finally saw the reasons behind the trust Carlisle had set up long before she was turned, even before Edward. That was his way of giving back to the living, as he passed through their lives in his long unending eternity. Sometimes touching them briefly other times, not at all, but his legacy lingered on and helped a few of those to get a better life and this was what she too would now do just more hands on. Something she should always have done but was too blinded by materialism and self-importance to see it.

As time went by she would enlarge on it, involving men too, but for now, she would help those woman who like herself when she was human were unable to help themselves. Not because they didn't want to but because they didn't know how. Esme had amassed many skills since her change and now was the time to help, to give back. To be the woman she always should have been had she bothered to try. But what to call her new venture? Of course 'CHANGE'

**HMD**

"Bells, have you settled on a college yet? I know you had plans for Alaska once! But that was for him, not you, am I right? So where do you really want to go?" Charlie asked his daughter, half dreading her answer.

"I've been thinking dad, even when he was still around, about the University of Roehampton! I know England's far away, but they have the best courses for me and well how I'm I going to see all the setting from my favourite books otherwise? I applied ages ago and should get a reply soon!" Bella said heaving a sigh, there it was out in the open now,

"Wow, well I know you're smart enough kiddo! But it's so far away! I'm not going to try to make you change your mind, you need to do this for you" he said sadly, already resigned to her going away and probably never coming back.

"Thanks, dad, I knew you'd understand. This is my dream, nobody else's for once, but mine and I want it" Bella said and Charlie saw the light in her eyes and that was all he needed, her happiness was the most important thing to him.

Carlisle knew that Bella had applied for Roehampton and had thought maybe he could make a few calls to grease the wheels but found it wasn't needed. Bella had gotten the place she wanted on her own merit and he was delighted. He said nothing as he wanted to see her face when the letter arrived. But he would tell her he had looked into it; there would be no secrets between them.

**HMD**

Mother's day was almost over now and Esme was feeling much better than she'd thought she would. Her course was set, no rushing, no swamping people with false hope. This would be her venture, her way of giving back to the humans and she intended to start small and build a reputation as well as a shelter. She would regain her own self-worth along the way she hoped fervently. 'CHANGE' she hoped would not just be for others, but for her too.

Why had she never seen it before, the fact vampires needed to change and grow too? She had stagnated in self-denial for so long and the only people hurt were those that never should have been, her family. She hoped one day one of them would find what she did now and have good feelings about her, the woman who was once their mother, wife or friend.

So after spending the evening hunting from the many deer in Denmark, even seeing an odd wild boar or two, which she thought she might try one day. Esme was determined to keep on her diet of animals, with no other way to repay Carlisle this would have to suffice. As the sun rose on Monday the 13th of May she was ready and waiting to meet it with a much lighter heart and a joy for the future she hadn't had for many years.

Her first task was to get in touch with Jason Jenks. He was the lawyer who had supplied her with her new or old, depending on how you looked at it, I.D. Jenks had no idea what had happened to the Cullens, but with so many changes of I.D, he knew it was cataclysmic and then, of course, was all the things he'd done for Dr Cullen. But this was one of the hardest things for him to do.

"Ms Platt, Esme! I have some paper you need to sign. Dr Cullen, Carlisle asked me to draw up settlement papers for you both. As the English say you were his Common Law wife!" he said quietly, actually holding his breath,

"Oh, yes of course. Please send them to this address and I will sign them right away. I want nothing from him. I deserve nothing from him! Please, when he collects them, tell him I'm so sorry!" Esme says just as quietly.

It didn't take long to conclude their business and Esme knew she had one more Mother's Day to go as Sweden didn't celebrate it until Sunday the 26th of May. Esme felt certain that one would be less painful but no less reflective under the circumstances. She never would forget, but maybe one day she would be able to forgive herself. What was it they said, 'True forgiveness comes from within', yes she believed that. Forgiving herself would be the hardest part of all this, even if the others forgave her first.

**HMD**

"Carlisle, Carlisle it's here! Oh my God! I got in, I'm going to Roehampton!" Bella yelled after she ripped open the letter and scanned the contents.

"Congratulations, sweetheart. I knew you would do it! I remember that day so well when you asked for my help. Wanting to know all you needed to know to get in there and I was so happy to help you secretly. That was your first act of defiance toward Edward's control over you. If only we'd known then!" Carlisle said gathering her into his arms.

"We were always meant to be and fate would not be gainsaid! I believe that with all my heart, I love you Carlisle and I will forever" Bella said reaching up to kiss her mate, with all the passion and love her heart could barely contain.

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**The American incarnation of ****Mother's Day**** was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 and became an official U.S. ****holiday**** in 1914. **

**It is held exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday in the United Kingdom.** **In the ****UK****, ****Mother's Day**** was originally a ****day**** for Christians to visit their '****mother****' church back home during the holy month of Lent.**

**Fervently - **used to describe beliefs that are strongly and sincerely felt or people who have strong and sincere beliefs

**Gainsaid - **denied or contradicted (a fact or statement).

**Common Law Wife -** **England** and **Wales**. The term "**common**-**law marriage**" has been used in **England** and **Wales** to refer to unmarried, cohabiting heterosexual relationships. The term does not confer on cohabiting parties any of the rights or obligations enjoyed by spouses or civil partners. **Common**-**law marriage** does not exist in **Scotland**. There was a type of irregular marriage called '**marriage** **by cohabitation** **with habit and repute'** which could apply to couples who have lived together and were thought to be married.


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